Everyone regretted scheduling the photo shoot for after lunch…
Girl on right: ” I… can’t… hold… my breath… any… more…”
Girl on left: “Hey, it ain’t my fault I got gas. No one told my mamma to make her famous broccoli surprise for lunch.”
Girl on right: “I… hate you… so much… right now…”
Girl on left: “And then she served ice cream for dessert. It sure was delicious, but mamma knows that rocky road rips through my system like a freight train headed for the coast.”
Girl on right: “Passing… out…”
Girl on left: “Oh hush, drama queen. You’ll get used to the stench… eventually.”
If by “whimsical” you mean, “a nutcracker with a face that looks like someone just shoved an electric cattle prod up its ass,” then yeah, this is VERY whimsical.
(Patrick, I will completely understand if you never speak to me again.)
“Happy birthday! I crocheted you a floating crayon wizard, the head of a decapitated clown, two leprechauns being held at gun point against a bowl, some Christmas things, the ugliest basket in the world and some flowers in a vase. ENJOY!!”
I have some questions for you, pattern book:
Is the cigar for the creepy-faced bunny? If so, why?
What the Hell is the laughing baby holding? Is that a hot dog in a tampon?
Who killed the clowns, and where are their bodies?
Are those cars or space ships?
I eagerly await your answers.
“I’m only wearing this because my fat pants are too tight”
like a tiered, tube-top, tent dress.
The real excitement is that she ain’t wearing a damn thing under that blanket!
(p.s. Those neckties are terrible, but still charming in a retro kitsch kinda way.)
Well, thanks to this pattern,
what’s left of my childhood just shriveled up and blew away
in a cold, bitter gust of wind.
And damn, Judy, relax.
That model looks like she’s plotting someone’s murder.