Blown to bits and pieces

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“Happy birthday! I crocheted you a floating crayon wizard, the head of a decapitated clown, two leprechauns being held at gun point against a bowl, some Christmas things, the ugliest basket in the world and some flowers in a vase. ENJOY!!”

In the club

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I have some questions for you, pattern book:

Is the cigar for the creepy-faced bunny? If so, why?

What the Hell is the laughing baby holding? Is that a hot dog in a tampon?

Who killed the clowns, and where are their bodies?

Are those cars or space ships?

I eagerly await your answers.

For a good time…

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Let’s see…
Barbie has been a doctor, an astronaut, an equestrian,
a scientist and a race car driver, just to name a few occupations.

Never thought I would have to add
“high-dollar Vegas call-girl” to that list,
but here we are.

Close your eyes and think of Christmas

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You what screams CHRISTMAS to me?
I mean, you know what really brings forth the holiday spirit for me?
What conjures up warm memories of yesterday,
holiday wishes and the mirth of the seasonal festivities for me?

A TEDDY BEAR DRY-HUMPING A GIANT CANDY CANE!
THAT’S WHAT!

To you and yours, be well this holiday season!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, FESTIVE WHATEVER
AND A JOYOUS THIS TIME OF THE YEAR TO EVERYONE
FROM EVERYONE HERE AT SAD PATTERNS!!