Respect my authority!


Things were heating up in the day care kitchen…

Lady on right: “Quit your crying; you’ll ruin your makeup.”

Lady on left, quietly sobbing: “It… it still hurts, Sally. I mean… if I’d have know you were going to… I.. I would never have said anything…”

Lady on right: “Let this be a lesson, Peg. If you correct me in front of the principal again, a slap across the cheek will be the least of your problems. Now, clean yourself up and get ready to serve the cupcakes. Those precious angels from the preschool class have been waiting long enough for their treats, AND SO HELP ME PEG, if you drop even one little sprinkle, I’ll give you plenty of reasons to cry!”


Cushy lifestyle

I apologize for the lack of post recently. I’ve been busy with some recent projects and couldn’t muster the gumption to post on a regular basis. To help alleviate the stress of posting here daily, I will, from now on, only be posting new Sad Patterns on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This gives me a more relaxed regimen, but still gives you terrible sewing patterns to sneeze at. WIN WIN!!

Thank you all for sticking around!

Now, on to the crap!


Well… OK, sure, if you want to make a sofa I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that.

I mean, by the time you shell out the cash for the nine thousand bags of Poly-Fil you’ll need to complete this thing, you could have just spent the money on an already constructed sofa, but that’s alright, YOU JUST GET CRAFTY WITH YOUR BAD SELF!!!