The skinny on dipping

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Lady on right, whispering: “Your bating suit is hideous.”

Lady on left, through gritted teeth: “At least my boobs don’t look like I’m smuggling tangerines in a bandanna.”

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Gimmie a hand

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I’m sure the shorts pattern is fine, it’s that unfortunate child’s left hand I’m worried about. It looks like it’s been grafted to the basketball.

And what’s with the upside-down Solo cup hovering in mid-air? Is that a guardian angel, a mascot, some kind of swimsuit induced hallucination? WHAT??

What the children saw

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Lady on left: “I thought this was supposed to be a casual pool party for everyone to enjoy. Why on Earth would Gladys show up wearing that?”

Lady on right: “I have no idea. The last thing someone her size should walk out of the house in is a fluorescent yellow G-string bikini.”

Lady on left: “There are children here; they don’t need to see that! My God, look at all the fat rolls.”

Lady on right: “The rolls are fine; it’s the fact that it goes transparent when it gets wet that worries me!”

Lady on left: “Dear Lord! She’s going in for a swan dive! Quick, cover the kid’s eyes!!”