It ends in a tie


All these ties and they can’t cinch up the one around the model’s neck?
Seriously, you people have no idea how much that stupid little gap between
the knot and the top of the collar band drives me crazy.

Also, apart from going to a hundred thrift stores and buying a haul,
who has THAT many color-coordinated neckties hanging in the closet?


Fowl creations


Somewhere at the cover design meeting for this instruction book…

Designer 1: “I was thinking that the samples need to be clean neutrals or maybe soft colors, so the buyer can really see the details and understand the design of the patterns.”

Designer 2: “Nah, we need to use insanely bold colors and busy fabrics that confuse anyone looking at it. I can’t stress enough how important it is to make sure the customer has no idea what what’s going on when they look at the cover.”

Designer 1: “But isn’t that going to be difficult to market?”

Designer 2: “Ehh, who cares! As long as people walk away thinking, ‘Damn! Those were some confusing-ass chicken patterns!’ we’re good.”


Vest un-dressed?


I don’t really understand why people want to make these kinds of vests, but whatever.
My main concern with this pattern is that “Misty Meadows” sounds like a porn star’s name, and we both know no self-respecting porn star would be caught dead seductively taking off one of these vests on set.

Not feeling my vest right now

As I am currently gearing up to attend the Houston International Quilt Festival, I thought we should round out the season with a selection of questionable wearable art.


I don’t know who Heidi is, but I feel the need to sit her down and give her a long lecture about what is and isn’t appropriate fashion design. I mean, I hesitate to use the word “fashion” when describing this, but “pieced nightmare” seemed a bit harsh.


Just pee-cause

I’d like to apologize for the lack of Sad patterns this past week and a half. I was on a whirlwind tour and couldn’t get to a computer to post stuff. I’m back on my M-W-F schedule now, and will continue to shovel mounds of terrible crafting patterns down your throats.

Now, without further ado…


Yes, that’s EXACTLY what we want –
an applique pattern that looks like a guy in overalls, taking a leek.