OH THANK GAWD!
I was freaking out that my lingerie-making was taking WAY too long!
Thanks to this pattern, I can now make a shapeless tube before I go to bed!
AND I can run silk charmeuse through a serger without a care in the world?
SOMEBODY CATCH ME, I THINK I’M GONNA FAINT FROM EXCITEMENT!!!
Everyone thought giving out flowers at Aunt Ellen’s funeral
was a touching display of affection.
What they didn’t understand is why Cousin Mary showed up to the service in
nothing but her underwear.
Lady on right: “Oh, I don’t know why I let you set me up with these strange men!”
Lady on left: “It’ll be fine! Besides, it’s a double date, so I’ll be there the whole time. Anyway, Rob says that his friend is perfect for you!”
Lady on right: “Well, OK I guess. I mean you and Rob have been going steady for a while now. I guess I can trust his choice in guys.”
Lady on left: “You’ll have a good time, I promise. So what dress are you wearing?”
Lady on right: “Oh, I was thinking about the blue one with the V neck. You don’t think that’s too revealing, do you?”
Lady on left: “Well, Rob says this guy just got out of prison, so I don’t think it’s gonna be revealing enough.”
Lady on right: “Hmm, well I could go with the red… WAIT, WHAT!?!?”
Lady on left: “Oh relax! His parole office is just a phone call away if he starts to get fresh.”
I know it’s a bit early, but HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!
By the look of the ladies in this illustration, I’m guessing Folkwear charges by the hour to use their patterns.
Lady on left: “See, look at that reflection. You are a strong, independent woman, and you are worth more than you give yourself credit for. Always remember that you are beautiful, inside and out.”
Lady on right: “Thank you, so much. Now, who the Hell are are you and how did you get into my bedroom?”
Lady on left: “Shhhh, no words… let’s just reflect…
While they got ready for bed, Mabel and Jackie discussed their day…
Lady on left: “So, did Mr Roberts try to pinch your ass again today?”
Lady on right: “Yeah, but I swatted his hand with the business end of the industrial stapler.”
Lady on left: “Ouch! I bet that hurt.”
Lady on right: “I’m sure it did. He had to go to the nurse’s station on the third floor. I heard that he told them it was an accident because if he told the truth and his wife found out he was chasing me around the desk, the least he’d have to worry about would be a giant staple through his hand.”
Lady on left: “Ow wow! Getting on the wrong side of THAT woman? Damn, I think he’d prefer to have a giant staple though ANY part of his body rather than deal with her!”
Lady on right: “If he keeps trying to play grab-ass with me in the office, dealing with his wife will be a walk in the park compared to what I’m going to do to him with the rest of the office supplies!”
Getting ready for the party…
Lady in black: “I can’t wait to get together tonight with the gang! It’s been ages since we’ve seen each other!”
Lady in pink: “I can’t wait to see Rob. I plan on caging that tiger TONIGHT!”
Lady in black: “Umm, Marsha, you know he’s seeing Sally, right? They’ve been dating for like six months now.”
Lady in pink: “Honey, I’m rocking my lucky bra. When the girls are wrapped in pink satin, NO man can resist my charms.”
Lady in black: “Wait. I thought the green one was your lucky bra…”
Lady in pink: “Pink, green, it doesn’t matter. When I get a man in my sights, this thing could be electric blue with orange stripes and I’d still get what I want.”