Chic Geisha?

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

THE LUCK O’ THE ASIAN!

mar2013b

DID I MISS A MEETING OR SOMETHING?

When the Hell did Arab sheiks and geishas start hanging out?

Wait… Ok, I see… what? Seriously?

It’s not like these two patterns have like 20 options on the cover and there just happens to be a geisha and sheikh option in both pools. Nope. This was deliberate and oddly, generational. The pattern on the right dates back to at least the 60’s; the one on the left is from the 90’s AND they are from two different pattern companies. So, unless the corporate spies at McCall’s have been sipping tea with the patternmakers at Butterick, we can safely assume that the Asian/Middle Eastern links are universal. The really bizarre thing is, I can’t even see that these two looks share the same pattern pieces!

Well, at least If you go with the pattern on the right, you get a witch. Because, you know… geisha and sheikhs are right at home with magic users?

Survey Says!

The people in these patterns look like they are posing for some bizarre portraits… wait a minute….

MEET, THE SIMPLICITYS!

Flapper, Angel, Princess, Genie and the youngest, Little Mermaid and her flat, cartoon fish!

COMPETING AGAINST, THE BUTTERICKS! 

Fairy Godmother, Bunny, Leopard, Clown Face and riding high on her magic broom of doom, it’s L’il Witchy!

…AND THEY’RE ALL HERE TO PLAY THE FAMILY FEUD!

‘Cause people in Hell need ice water?

I have no idea when penguins and devils hooked up, but apparently that was one meeting I wasn’t allowed at. I get that a zip-front one-sie is a generic, Halloween staple, but this is oddly coincidental. I hope that there isn’t some kind of arctic/satanic/penguin conspiracy brewing here.

(Insert obligatory ‘Hell freezes over’ joke here).

Double vision

FUN IN THE SUN OR THE BEDROOM!

As we have seen in the past, pattern companies are never above dragging out an old pattern and trying to sell it to a new and unsuspecting crowd. These examples from ADVANCE really make your sewing dollar stretch further than you ever thought! On one hand, you have a sensible pair of tailored boxer shorts that would look good under a smart business suit. On the other hand, you have a sensible pair of tailored swim shorts that would look good under water. Huh?

Maybe this is supposed to be a garment that you just never take off; like when James Bond had a scuba suit under his tuxedo. Regardless, I don’t know many men who are willing to step out of the house in control top swim trunks to catch a beach ball.

Dear Simplicity,

I like the massive shoulder-width that this dress creates, but I’m not crazy about the fabric selection and the length. Do you have another dress pattern with shoulders that could potentially poke someone’s eyes out? Maybe with a sample sewn in white lace?

Bless you.