A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT:
Sad Patterns is going on an indefinite hiatus.
My personal life is chaotic right now and I just don’t have time to update this site as often as I want. I love exposing the world to terrible sewing patterns, but I have to get some ducks in a row before I can commit to this site any further.
I appreciate all the support and awful patterns I’ve received over the years.
I’m leaving the site up for as long as WordPress keeps it up. If I can get some free time, I’ll post something, but free time is a commodity I can’t afford to trade right now.
With that said, please enjoy this one for the road:
By their facial expressions, I can only assume that the guy at the door just caught these two in a passionate lover’s embrace. That, or they are making their escape after swiping the family silver. Now, I might be hopeless romantic, but something tells me the only thing they’re smuggling under those cloaks is a burning desire for one another.
Lady on right: “Look Martha, here are the drawers I’m NOT going to wear under my dress tonight!”
Lady on left: “Oh quit fooling around, Jane, and get dressed already. We’re gonna be late for the party!”
Lady on right: “Fooling around is the exact reason why I AIN’T sporting these puppies!!”
Lady on left: “Just keep smiling until she drives off…”
Girl on right: “Can’t that car go any faster?”
Lady on left: “Right? As soon as grandma’s out of sight, we can take off these hideous sweaters.”
Girl on right: “I appreciate her making us stuff, but damn, theses things are awful.”
Lady on left: “I feel kinda bad, but there is no way in Hell I’m wearing this potholder in public.”
Girl on right: “Good thing she only visits once a year.”
Lady on left: “I lover her to death, but I really hope that yarn store burns down soon.”
Good thing they got Palmer and Pletsch on the case; otherwise, this dumpy, unflattering shirt-dress wouldn’t fit anyone.
Damn sweetie, lighten up.
Sure, I’d be depressed and straight-faced too if I had to wear that hodgepodge, country crap, but look on the bright side… … … …
Yeah, those jumpers are awful, there is no bright side.
Sucks to be you, hun.
You know what the world doesn’t have enough of?
Ugly, polished cotton, shirtwaist dresses.
I mean, is it asking too much for this trend to be brought back to life?
Sure the shape is simple, but look at all the different kinds of ugly, polished cotton, shirtwaist dresses you can make:
Gosh, a version that drops the seam four inches below the waist!?
WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS GLORIOUS TREASURE!?!