Girl: “I wanna be a pretty princess!”
Boy on right: “I wanna be a brave knight!”
Boy on wall: “I wanna be a brave knight too!”
Director: “Sorry Billy. You are getting the Humpty Dumpty costume.”
Boy on wall: “But why?”
Director: “Because no one likes you. Now smile for the camera.”
Well, thanks to this pattern,
what’s left of my childhood just shriveled up and blew away
in a cold, bitter gust of wind.
And damn, Judy, relax.
That model looks like she’s plotting someone’s murder.
Let’s see, we have a historical aristocrat, a little Dutch girl and oh yes,
the only person of color, dressed as domestic help.
Gosh, it’s so good to see that even back then, Hollywood had an open mind about giving minorities a break and NOT giving in to stereotypes and gross exaggerations.
WAY TO GO, HOLLYWOOD.
WAY. TO. GO.
“OK kids, y’all have fun trick or treating, just make sure you don’t violate any any existing copyright laws by appearing to resemble any holding of a major corporation that can and probably will sue you for infringing on their intellectual property.
Oh and save a candy apple for mommy!”
Because no costume party would be complete without ethnic stereotypes and Satan murdering an angel.
The only issue I have with this pattern is that it’s not available in my size.
Seriously, look at the bat cape. LOOK AT IT!!
I don’t want this pattern for Halloween; I want it to wear to the grocery store.
Damn your preconceived notions of what a grown man should wear to purchase frozen vegetables, I WANT FOX EARS!!
With the exception of that poor child in the yellow skirt, the adult versions of these costumes have all swung around a stripper pole at Big Harry’s All-Girl Revue.
Seriously, what the Hell is that kid in yellow supposed to be?
She looks like half a slice of pizza with moldy pepperoni glued to it.