I know macrame owls are painfully traditional in the world of fiber art,
but after you’ve constructed this thing, and you find yourself walking in the woods, picking out the perfect branch for your newly knotted yarn buddy to perch on, I want you to stop what you’re doing, go home, take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “Where did my life go wrong?”
And to all my yarn-knotted buddies out there, have a delightfully festive New Year!!
Guys, I LOVE direction the new Absolutely Fabulous reboot is headed!
You what screams CHRISTMAS to me?
I mean, you know what really brings forth the holiday spirit for me?
What conjures up warm memories of yesterday,
holiday wishes and the mirth of the seasonal festivities for me?
A TEDDY BEAR DRY-HUMPING A GIANT CANDY CANE!
To you and yours, be well this holiday season!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, FESTIVE WHATEVER
AND A JOYOUS THIS TIME OF THE YEAR TO EVERYONE
FROM EVERYONE HERE AT SAD PATTERNS!!
If I were Jingles, I’d get those knees looked at soon.
He ain’t gonna be spreading much of that “magical Christmas feeling”
if he’s laid-up in bed with bursitis.
The whimsical stegosaurus sweater says, “I’m a fun kindergarten teacher!
But the black leather miniskirt says, “I’m gonna teach you a lesson.”
Yes, because when you think of darling, graceful songbirds,
YOU THINK OF OSTRICHES!!
I’d double check with HR, but I’m pretty sure announcing “Guess what hit the fan” to everyone who walks in your cubicle is some sort of policy violation.