Knit wits!

My friend Michelle sent me this little paperback treasure the other day…


Innocuous enough, I guess. There are instructions for hairpin lace shawls, his and her sweaters and whimsical hats, like this, for kids:



Of course, the purple one looks like she beheaded a Muppet and is parading it’s head on a pike, but still, pretty unassuming.

As we peruse the pages of this slice of knitting kitsch, we must slam on the breaks and witness the horror and unbelievable nightmare that is…



Yes, now you too can knit up a yarn monstrosity of your very own!
Because, let’s face it, you didn’t want to ever sleep again, did you?

Thank you so very much, Michelle. I’m sure my therapist will be sending you an invitation to the christening of the yacht he is going to buy with all the money he earns helping me through this yarn trauma.

(And yes, that is the full pattern for you to enjoy.
Please, if you make one of these things, post a picture for me to cherish.)


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