Doll face


“Here dear, mommy made you a faceless doll, clutching the arm of a gangling bear that looks like a possessed puppet trying to walk on its own.”

You know, something is missing from this picture…


Theeeeeere it is.



The sporting life


Photographer A: “So for the cable knit shoot, what are the models going to wear underneath?”

Photographer B: “On the guy, just put him in head to toe white. I know it will wash out the sweater, but I feel the look needs to scream CAUCASIAN RICH GUY WITH TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS.”

Photographer A: “OK… but what about the kid?”

Photographer B: “Lets do the same, but make sure you put him in short shorts. I mean, like REALLY short shorts… like boxer short, short.”

Photographer A: “Umm, won’t it look like we forgot to give him pants…”

Photographer B: “OH! And give them random sporting equipment to hold. It’ll really drive the WE’RE DOUCHEBAGS! theme home.”


Some-bunny loves you


The only really wonder here is why someone would design this monstrosity.

Also, I think calling this thing an “adorable bunny” is a bit of a stretch, but I suppose describing it as a “creepy dust-collector that will stare at you while you sleep,” doesn’t sell many patterns.

She said yes


At an unexpected engagement party, some concerns were aired…

Lady on right: “Wait, you don’t actually think that Suzy is going to marry Bruce, do you? I mean, I know the guy is loaded, but OMG he’s a total asshole.”

Lady on left: “Well, Suzy is a bit of a bitch herself, so really, it’s a match made in Heaven. I mean honestly, between his bank account and her insane spending habits, I’m surprised they didn’t tie the knot ages ago.”

Lady on right: “But still, it’s not much to build a relationship on.”

Lady on left: “Honey, look at it this way, it takes both of those dumbasses off the market and leaves the actual human beings to the rest of us.”