The 5 Days of Christmas

All this week we’re taking a walk down memory lane as we look back at terrible holiday-themed patterns from the archive, and gear up for the non-stop roller coaster ride that is Christmas.

Strap in, people, we’re riding in a one-horse open sleigh of nonsense with Sad Patterns’


“On the 5th day of Christmas, my sewing machine gave to me…
A lesson on baking cookies…”

(This post originally appeared on December 25, 2012)


Little girl: “Do I roll them out like this Mommy?”

Mother: “That’s right honey. Make sure it’s nice and smooth so the cookies bake evenly. Now, we just pop them in the oven until they are golden brown.”

Little girl: “They look delicious, but did we really need to put in that many boxes of Ex-Lax into the dough?

Mother: “Well Honey, this is a special recipe that we are making for Daddy’s secretary. She and Daddy are spending a lot of time together and I want her to know that if she plans on being his secret friend, there’s going to be a price to pay.”


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