For the boy…



Grace and Mable had something to discuss…

Lady on right: “So wait, you’re telling me you and Bobby still haven’t… YOU KNOW! Honey, it’s been like a month.”

Lady on left: “Nope. Not even once. Honestly, he’s been a perfect gentleman. He didn’t even try to sneak in a kiss while we were at the Bette Midler concert.”

Lady on right: “Yeah, I sill don’t know why you wanted to go see her. I mean, she’s good, but not really your style.”

Lady on left: “Oh, it was Bobby’s idea. We had a blast that day! First we went to the gym together… Bobby’s ALWAYS at the gym. Then we went clothes shopping… Bobby LOVES trying on clothes. Then we went to this cute little bistro in the artsy district, then the concert. He knew every word to every song!”

Lady on right: “Uhhh, sweetie, we need to have a little talk about Bobby…”


Next on stage…


With the exception of that poor child in the yellow skirt, the adult versions of these costumes have all swung around a stripper pole at Big Harry’s All-Girl Revue.

Seriously, what the Hell is that kid in yellow supposed to be?
She looks like half a slice of pizza with moldy pepperoni glued to it.

Learn to sew for fun


Ah yes, the classic combination of a hideous intarsia sweater that should have never left the knitting needles, a boring brown dirndl skirt that looks like yesteryear’s kitchen curtains, and a tweaked-out cat coming down from the mother of all meth binges…

Stitch by Stitch, keeping their greasy thumbs on the pulse of what the people want!

The magic of childhood



This post originally appeared on January 29, 2014

Little girl on left: “When I marry my prince, I’m going to live in a castle and ride a unicorn!”

Little girl in middle: “I can’t decide which tiara I love more. I think I’ll just have to keep them all!”

Little girl on right: “What the Hell is this crap? These two bitches look like royalty and I’m dressed like a beer wench at Medieval Times! Somebody get my agent on the phone, now!

Cut a rug



Meanwhile, at the school dance…

Girl on left: “OMG if that scrub thinks I’m dancing with him, he’s more clueless than I thought.”

Girl in middle: “Oh! Scott Smith is looking in this direction. I hope he asks me to dance!”

Girl on right: “COME AND GET IT BOYS! These dancing shoes are open for business!!”