Is this the vest you can do?

mar2015uYes, because when you think of “Sunflowers in my Garden”, you think of muted Earth tones, the moon and a harp.

I can hear the stylist trying to convince the photographer now:

“No man, it’ll be awesome!”
“But… a harp? How does that make any sense?”
“It’s like existential, man. The harp represents the music of our souls.”
“But, it’s a sunflower vest, not a music vest.”
“Dude, trust me. No one’s gonna question it”
“Fine, but let’s try to find a brighter background.”
“Bruh! The weathered deck is perfect to represent the beating we receive as we travel along the great unknown path of life.”
“I give up. Let’s just take the damn picture already.”



Where’s Ashleigh Wilkes when you need him?


You know, for those times a gentleman caller asks for your hand to a semi-formal, antebellum cotillion and you haven’t a thing to wear.

Also, in Scarlet’s defense, the dress on the left DOES look like it was made from curtains…

Don’t blink



This post originally appeared on November 15, 2011

It’s OK to stare at this pattern.

In no way, shape or form will the haunting image of these four dolls plague your nightmares from now until your death. I’m sure you’re fine. It’s not like they can see straight into your soul and suck it out while you are lost in dream land.

That would be silly.


In the pocket


I have never really felt the need to put a critter in my pocket,
but thanks for the pattern, I guess.

I mean, it’s kinda cute, for maybe a toddler’s overalls, but if you’re over 12 years old and your’re rocking a plush cow in a heart pocket, smack-dab in the center of your sweatshirt, it might be time to evaluate some of the choices you’ve made in your life.

We go together


Made in Heaven, designed in Hell!
Yikes! I’m guessing they let Laura Ashley’s drunk cousin, Lenny Ashley, choose the fabric for these samples.
Take this as a lesson for any future design ideas: Just because fabrics coordinate, doesn’t mean you HAVE to use them together.

Junk in the trunk


Damn girl! Look at you saving all that money on luggage by packing your honeymoon clothes in your bustle!

I get that this is an echo to a forgotten era of clothing, but who at Bellville Sassoon thought this was a flattering design? On the other hand, any bride worried about losing a couple of inches in the seat, before the wedding, doesn’t actually have to put down the Twinkies because this gown’s got your back. LITERALLY!