The dress looks good on you

dec2014tTHANK GOD!

I had no idea what to wear to my New Year’s Eve bash tonight, and then I saw this glorious Party Muu by Polynesian Patterns. I was desperately trying to think of a way I could mix my love of cocktail dresses and Mrs. Roper together, but was quickly losing hope.

Wait, this is formal enough, right?

If only there was a way to add some extra elegance with, oh, I don’t know… like a band of fur, maybe?

Nah, that’s just crazy talk. No pattern company on the planet would be that innovative.




Check out the view


Lady in picture, thinking: “I just adore this city, and with Rob here, I feel the love we share and the romance that has blossomed between us.I couldn’t ask for a more understanding man to share my life with.”

Guy in picture, thinking: “Damn high neck line! How am I supposed to sneak a peek at her cans if she’s bundled up to the collar bone?!?!”

All I want for Christmas…


“You’re kidding me with this stupid horse, right? You said if I wore this god-awful outfit on Christmas morning, Santa would deliver all of the presents I asked for. Well, here I am trying to play off the world’s gayest blouse, and I ain’t seen hide nor hair of a Playstation 4.
Hell, he didn’t even bring me any socks!
I swear, next year when I sit on that fat bastard’s lap, I’m going to wet my pants so bad, his dry-cleaner will burn his soiled britches and cancel his account!!”


Send in the…


I think the good people at Threads got their cover confused with one from
Hideous Clown Costumes Monthly.

Now, I’m all for expressive clothing, but at one point, you’re gonna look like a rejected cast extra from the world’s worst Cirque de Soleil show.