Mom: “Hey kids, what do you guys want to be for Halloween this year?””
Kids, in unison: “THE PUREST EMBODIMENT OF HELL’S NIGHTMARES COME TO LIFE, MOMMY!!!!”
Mom: “What, again? OK, but you all still have a nine o’clock curfew, and no animal sacrifices on old lady Johnson’s front yard this year!”
Kids, in unison: “Awwwwww, mom! That’s the best part!”
Mom: “I mean it, no blood-lettings! Now, go wash up for dinner or no dessert for any you!”
Guy on right: “So you see, Steve, I think we could really work well together. I think a merger is the best possible scenario for the two of us. Why don’t I stop by later and deliver some files to your inbox?”
Guy on left: “Mike, I’d like to do business with you, but if you don’t get your hand off my ass, the only thing that’s getting delivered to an inbox is your broken arm.”
Yeah, if I was forced to wear that awful crap in my hair,
I wouldn’t want to face the camera either.
On the track, Billy delivers a message to his friend…
Guy on right, to attractive young lady: “Sooooo, how about after I finish up my marathon training today, you and me grab some fruit juice together, at the gym’s health bar?”
Guy on left, running up behind: “Hey Todd! Your wife called. She said the Doctor told her that the rash on your crotch is REALLY contagious and to avoid all contact with human skin! She’s filling the prescription for the ointment, now!”
Guy on right: “…And this is a common oak leaf. Here, let me get a little closer and show you another kind of “tree” that grows in the forest.”
Lady on left, rolling her eyes: “Jack, I swear, if you don’t back off of me right now, I’mma have to start chopping some wood, and it ain’t got nothing to do with no trees, neither.”
SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:
This post originally appeared on July 29, 2013
Well now, in all fairness, I see nothing wrong with a straight teen wearing that.
Actually, it DOES look like she has two covered wagons stuffed under her shoulder pads, so this might be the best name for this particular jacket.
Of course, walking out of the house in this thing will only lead to one possible outcome: