On how to look lovely…

jul2014v

I’d like to learn the short-cuts to sewing success, but all I have is a diamond tiara and this book clearly requires pearls. Oh well.

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Cutting the cheese

jul2014s

You know, every morning, I wake up and the first thought in my head is, “What would a French cheesemaker wear today?” Then I remember this pattern and promptly realize that  dressing like a French cheesemaker is probably not a good idea.

Also, are sheep known for their milk? Why is a cheesemaker, French or otherwise, tending to a flock of sheep? Shouldn’t he be doing other things, like, oh, I dunno…
MAKING CHEESE??!!?!

Let’s not

 SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

FLASHBACK FRIDAYS!!

This post originally appeared on December 20, 2011il_fullxfull-124329399

I’m not sure what kind of bottle she is carrying, but I’ll pretend it is wine, because you’d have to be drunk off your ass to get anywhere near that sweater. Even without the long,  goofy sleeves, no straight man on the planet would gravitate towards a pull-over that makes him look like a gay Bomb-Pop.

Polly wanna stitch?

jul2014r

If by “quick and easy,” you mean “boring and pointless,” then yes, it’s VERY quick and easy. And ummm, this is kind of a stupid question in regards to a quilt pattern, but… WHERE’S THE DAMN QUILTING??

I see like, two rows of stitches, total. I don’t know who Donna Lee is, but she might want to rethink her approach to patternmaking.