SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:
This post originally appeared on June 29, 2011
Three possible lines for this one:
– “Hey yous dumb broad, swing that sweet ass of yours over here and toss me my bottle or you’ll be on dirty diaper duty from now ‘til I hit da first grade”
– No one realizes that blood-thirsty and ruthless gangster Lawrence “Mugsy” Malone got his start as an adorable child model for the Bestway Knitting Leaflet Company.
-Little Billy wanted nothing more than to be a heroic crime fighter; but alas, his esoteric power of being able to telekinetically lift children’s knitwear proved useless to the chief of police.