But what about Blanche?

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

FLASHBACK FRIDAYS!!!!

This post originally appeared on January 17, 2013

Something tells me that Bea Arthur’s costume designer, on The Golden Girls set, had like ten copies of this pattern at any given time.

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Lingerie for me and you

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While they got ready for bed, Mabel and Jackie discussed their day…

Lady on left: “So, did Mr Roberts try to pinch your ass again today?”

Lady on right: “Yeah, but I swatted his hand with the business end of the industrial stapler.”

Lady on left: “Ouch! I bet that hurt.”

Lady on right: “I’m sure it did. He had to go to the nurse’s station on the third floor. I heard that he told them it was an accident because if he told the truth and his wife found out he was chasing me around the desk, the least he’d have to worry about would be a giant staple through his hand.”

Lady on left: “Ow wow! Getting on the wrong side of THAT woman? Damn, I think he’d prefer to have a giant staple though ANY part of his body rather than deal with her!”

Lady on right: “If he keeps trying to play grab-ass with me in the office, dealing with his wife will be a walk in the park compared to what I’m going to do to him with the rest of the office supplies!”

TMI

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Mark and Jeffery really needed their cell phones with them at the beach…

Guy on left, yelling: “HEY TOMMY! YOU STILL COMING TO THE HOUSE AFTER WE LEAVE THE BEACH?”

Guy on right, yelling: “HEY, YEAH, BRING THE WHOLE GANG! THE DOCTOR SAID THAT RASH WE GOT ISN’T CONTAGIOUS ANY MORE AND YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FINE!”

 

Golfing with buddies

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Guy on left: “Hey Stanley, does my ass look OK in these shorts?”

Guy on right: “No Mike, your ass looks gay in those shorts.”

Guy on left: “Oh hush! You’re just jealous cause I can thump a quarter off these cheeks.”

Guy on right: “Keep it up and I’ll be thumping a 9-iron off your forehead in a minute.”

What the children saw

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Lady on left: “I thought this was supposed to be a casual pool party for everyone to enjoy. Why on Earth would Gladys show up wearing that?”

Lady on right: “I have no idea. The last thing someone her size should walk out of the house in is a fluorescent yellow G-string bikini.”

Lady on left: “There are children here; they don’t need to see that! My God, look at all the fat rolls.”

Lady on right: “The rolls are fine; it’s the fact that it goes transparent when it gets wet that worries me!”

Lady on left: “Dear Lord! She’s going in for a swan dive! Quick, cover the kid’s eyes!!”