Normally I’d present a goofy pattern with a snappy bon mot, but frankly, this set of instructions has left me speechless.
I know what you’re thinking: Am I hallucinating because the gas is leaking?
No, dear friend. You are not tripping on clouds of ether, you are witnessing the dawn of an all new patternmaking psychosis.
Now, in and of themselves, I’m not fundamentally opposed to cute coat racks for kids. Frankly, they promote tidiness and organization skills, but seriously, how precious do they need to be?
Well, maybe precious isn’t the best word; just look that bunny’s face, he has seen some crazy shit in his short, fluffy life. Scarecrow? No, more like scare-children… into having horrible, horrible nightmares.
And last but certainly not least…
HEY KIDS! Who do you want to hold your coat when you sleep at night?
The embodiment of evil is always good for grins and giggles!!!
I thought I hit the pinnacle of Sad Patterns with the fly swatter cozy pattern, but alas, I was mistaken.
ALL HAIL OUR NEW PLUSH COAT RACK OVERLOADS!!!