We found love



This post originally appeared on June 17, 2011


Mike and Roger had been best buddies since high school. Never, in a million years, did they think their relationship would ever cross the line.

Mike, in blue shorts: “Look Roger. I’m not ashamed of what we did last night. I’ve wanted you since the day we met. You are and forever will be the love of my life. Please just turn around and look at me.”

Roger, in green shorts (sobbing): “I’m so confused. I thought I knew myself. I can’t face you right now Mike; but know this, I have never known pleasure like last night. <sniff> I’ll be alright… <sniff> but… I need you to hold me Mike… just hold me…”


It’s Hammer time

jan2014rFast and easy?

Sure, but eventually the copious amounts of liquor you consumed, to convince yourself that you look good, will wear off and you’ll come to the realization that you left the house in tropical print Hammer pants and a bandeau top.


Princess wishes

jan2014qLittle girl on left: “When I marry my prince, I’m going to live in a castle and ride a unicorn!”

Little girl in middle: “I can’t decide which tiara I love more. I think I’ll just have to keep them all!”

Little girl on right: “What the Hell is this crap? These two bitches look like royalty and I’m dressed like a beer wench at Medieval Times! Somebody get my agent on the phone, now!”


Relaxing massage

jan2014pSo, the illustrator’s brief was something along the lines of, “make it look like the one kid is giving the other an inappropriate back rub. Also, have their expressions kind of startled, like they just go caught doing something wrong.”



Come all ye faithful



Little girl: “Come on Billy, why aren’t you singing?”

Little boy: “You know, I joined the choir to meet girls, not dress like one!”

Little girl: “It’s just the standard uniform; we all wear them.”

Little boy: “Are you kidding me? I look like Maude’s Mini-me!”