What to wear?

dec2013vWell kids, I don’t know what you’re wearing to your New Year’s Eve party, but I know a certain little doll that will be all decked out in her finest!

There is the “Mrs. Roper called and wants her formal muumuu back” dress

The “I’m pregnant and trying to hide it, whipped cream dress

The “What the Hell is on my head” party dress

The “Somewhere, there is a naked, blue bird” dress

And of course, the “Why did I ever teach her to sew” dress

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The boys next door

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

FLASHBACK FRIDAYS!!

This post originally appeared on January 4th, 2012

Even though Roger and Tad lived together, worked together and shared a deep and honest love of knitting and the theater, they constantly reassured everyone that they were just “roommates.”

What’s for lunch?

IT’S BOXING DAY ON SAD PATTERNS!

Boxers, boxing.. SAME DIFFERENCE!

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Guy on left: “Hey Mike, wanna try that new Italian place for lunch?

Guy on right: “Yeah, that sounds great! I hope it’s better than the Greek place it was before.”

Guy on left: “I hear ya! The only saving grace that Greek place had going for it was the hot, hairy-chested server in the tight jeans.”

Guy on right: “Ooohh! He was hot! And those jeans were so tight you could tell what religion he was”

Guy on left: “Tell me about it! Every time he filled my water glass, I could count the coins in his back pocket! I was tempted to shove a quarter in there so he’d have change for a dollar!”

BRING ON THE EGG NOG!

Well opossums, it’s that magical time of the year again and here at Sad Patterns, we thought we’d help you prepare the perfect holiday setting by providing you with some glorious, festive decor.

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Imagine having your Christmas goose cooked and eating it next to the blind reindeer of despair. Yes, you too can look sorrow straight in the non-existent eyes and ponder your purpose on this planet all while crying and passing the mashed potatoes across the table. What’s that sound? That’s your soul being sucked away by Roudoulph the Albino Specter.

Not festive enough? Well then, how about some charming Christmas carolers to sing you the songs of yore?

dec2013sDid I say sign? I meant pose in a provocative way that suggests they aren’t going to be doing a whole lot of singing because their mouths will be otherwise… ummm… occupied.

Yes, with just a little paper mache and paint, you too can have these dirty little singers highlight any joyous, yuletide activity.

Well kids, I think that’s all the ho ho ho, I can stand; so, to you and yours, have a fantastic and bad-sewing free holiday.

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU OLD BUILDING AND LOAN!!