Free hugs!

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

PILLOW PANIC!

aug2013bbImagine waking up next to one of these things.
No really, just imagine.

You’re alone.
Creepy clown pillow by your side.
In bed.
Vulnerable in your jammies.
It’s been watching you sleep.
All.
Night.
Long.
It will be there again tonight.
Watching.
Ever watching…

G’NITE KIDS!!

Aprons again!!

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

FLASHBACK FRIDAYS!

This post originally appeared on August 26, 2011

aug2013cc

Lady A (on left): “So… Nina. I see you have decided to forgo the traditional Christmas theme here and wear your obviously Valentine’s Day apron. Jessie, back there, put A LOT of effort into designing the theme of this party. It’s a shame that someone, like you, would ruin all of her festivities.”

Lady B (on right): “Oh please. Who do you think you’re trying to fool, Patty? I know you’re just sucking up to Jessie because your husband is up for promotion and Bob has the final say. Besides, you’re Jewish. What do you care about Christmas cheer?”

Lady C (in middle): ALL RIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS! Last one to finish their mojito is a rotten egg!

Young at heart?

aug2013xAt what point did the folks at Simplicity say that a quilted, mandarin-collared jacket was “young and contemporary?”

Toss in a crocheted sleeping cap and a pair of Daniel Green genie shoes, and this is what your great-aunt Edna wears around the house before she goes to bed.

 

 

 

Tall tails…

What is this obsession with sewing tails to things?aug2013w

OK. The crab/lobster and the octopus thing I kinda get, but why does that mermaid have a turquoise, lamé elephant for a lower half? I know pachyderms like to play in puddles, but I had no idea they were prone to having swimming gingers grafted to their heads.

Here there be monsters

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

PILLOW PANIC!

aug2013vNow, I love mythological creatures as much as the next guy, but at one point, you’d have to question your detachment to reality when you first realized you were sewing a mermaid tail to the ass end of a bull.

Also, these are geared more towards kids, right? What the Hell kind of child, interested in these things, has a peach, satin comforter and matching lace-trimmed shams?