Pinch hitter

feb2013uu

Cindy and Sue had something to discuss on their lunch break…

Lady on left: “Hey Cindy, I think Mr. Johnson pinched my behind this morning. I mean, I could have just backed into something, but he was right there and it really felt like he got a handful.”

Lady on right: “That wasn’t your imagination honey. He plays grab-ass with everyone in the secretary pool. Last month he chased me around the desk then tried to kiss me.”

Lady on left: “Oh gosh! Someone should alert HR and confront him!”

Lady on right: “Nah. I just threatened to tell his wife unless he bought me a new designer handbag I’d had my eye on.”

Lady on left: “That’s terrible! I can’t imagine you’d put up with that!”

Lady on right: “Hey, I wasn’t complaining; besides, if you play your cards right with him, you could end up with those expensive shoes you saw at Neimans”

Lady on left: “I would NEVER debase myself…. wait, you mean the black Manolo’s with the rhinestone buckles? Umm… remind me again what time he gets back from lunch…”

That just about covers it

feb2013ppThanks to Simplicity, you and your girl can proudly walk down the street, proclaiming your allegiance to auto mechanics everywhere in these his and hers coveralls!

Nothing says ‘swanky’ like a dumpy jumpsuit and now BOTH men and women can experience the sartorial freedom of having to get completely naked to sit on the toilet.

Look-a-like

SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:

SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY… SHIRT!

feb2013b

Lady: “Look, I know the haircut is misleading, but I swear, if you call out Ann Jillian’s name one more time in bed, you will never see me naked again.”

Guy: “Sorry babe, but every time I look at you I think of her and how hot she…”

Lady: “Bobby, honey, you’re already on thin ice; it’s best to stop there.”

Same planet, different worlds

feb2013mm

Lady in blue dress: “Hey Mary, do you ever get the feeling that we’ve been objectified by men and that there needs to be a serious upheaval in the way women are perceived in society?”

Lady in print dress: “Not now Jen; that hot construction worker with the nice ass looks like he’s going to take his shirt off!”

The awful truth

feb2013kk

Somewhere at the resort…

Guy in striped shirt: “Hey Tab, is that the guy?”

Guy in blue shorts: “Yeah. Do you think I should say anything to him?”

Guy in striped shirt: “Well, it’s up to you, but I know I’d like to be told if MY wife was doing one of the waiters behind the pool house.”

Guy in blue shorts: “I guess there’s no easy way to tell someone that the woman he married is a slut, is there?”