When you are shooting a photo for a wedding dress, please do the following:
1- Make sure the dress fits.
2- Find a model that doesn’t look like she is suffering from chronic constipation.
Hugs and kisses,
You know, I just don’t think I’ll ever have an occasion to wear a bell-bottomed, form-fitted, front-zippered, jumpsuit tuxedo.
Actually, I don’t think there is any man on the planet that would have an occasion to wear a bell-bottomed, form-fitted, front-zippered, jumpsuit tuxedo, but I’m sure some guy out there is dying to prove me wrong.
Lady on left: “I don’t understand how I let you talk me into posing for one of your stupid pattern pictures. My God this shirt is ugly. I still can’t believe you made these things.”
Lady on right: “Hey! What are you complaining about? You’re getting paid for this photo shoot.”
Lady on left: “Yeah right! What’s a few dollars compared to years of humiliation being known as the ‘Bargello Shirt’ lady?”
Lady on right: “Oh well, if you want to talk about humiliation, we should probably start with your hair.”
Lady on left: “I hate you so much right now.”
SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS: A SPECIAL DELIVERY
“Look lady; just take the damn picture so I can get out of this girly lace already. I got a date tonight and this baby bunting crap is cramping my style.”
Oh and I think I’m going to start a petition to bring back random, floating baby heads in advertising. WHO’S WITH ME??
On the way to lunch, Linda says something she shouldn’t have…
Lady 2: “Look Pat, I didn’t mean…”
Lady 1: “It’s alright Linda. I know what you meant. But, you of all people know that I just can’t afford to fly off to Disneyland and get some authentic mouse ears. I had to make my own and I know they didn’t come out just right, but I’m happy with them and that’s all that matters.”
Lady 2: “I’m really sorry… hey! Would it make you feel better if I spoke like Donald Duck for the rest of the day?”
Lady 1: “Maybe, but I’d prefer Goofy…”