In and of itself, this shirt is fine; in fact, I have made several versions of this shirt myself. The one thing I have never done is smoke a pipe afterwards. Admittedly, I do like to relax after completing a garment, but let’s face it; I’m just not cool enough to light up in front of my sewing machine.


Beach blanket bimbo

On one hand, this is an adorable swimsuit pattern that any little girl would love to own.

On the other hand, I can’t help but think that there is some stripper out there buying this pattern to make and wear on “Bikini Beach” night at Big Manny’s All-Girl Cabaret Revue so she can yell from stage “Hey fellas! Wanna pet my turtles!?!”

Bone-headed thing to do!

“Next on the runway is Linda, in this darling, little black knee-skimmer. Linda made this dress herself and has adorned the neckline with the broken bones from the spines of her victims. Watch out fellas! She’s a man-eater on the prowl; however, she is never afraid to show her vulnerable side. Next on the runway…”