Get this clown outta here!

The child sees adorable catch-alls with cute little clown faces to brighten up her day.

The clown sees another innocent soul to consume and stuff in his evil pockets of doom.



Too shy, shy

I have no idea why patternmakers are afraid to show women’s faces, but to be honest, if I had to model that horrible maternity skirt, I’d probably want to hide my face too.

Go to shell!


Little girl: “You’re kidding me, right? They expect me to look happy while playing with this crap? Dang! I’ve modeled some stupid toys in my life, but this steaming pile takes the cake. Woohoo. I get to play make-believe with a garden pest. Be still my apathetic heart.”

Nice catch

Papa Penguin (under his breath): “Well dear, it seems we’ve raised yet another child who can’t catch fish like a normal penguin.”

Mama Penguin (under her breath): “I know honey. I guess we’ll just have to feed him to the polar bears like the last three.”

Kid Penguin: “Look daddy! I caught another one!”

Papa Penguin: “That’s great son, but let’s packs it up; we’re going to visit some old friends now.”

Kid Penguin: “Oh boy! Are we staying for dinner?”

Papa Penguin: “Well, YOU are…”

Just say NO, kids!

Girl, top left: “Bitch, gimmie my money or you’re gonna get slapped?”

Girl, top right: “Hit this cheek. The other one is still sore from the last time”

Girl, bottom left: “I don’t know… my mommy told me crack is whack…”

Girl, bottom right: “Oh, don’t listen to her. She just doesn’t want you to feel good. Here, the first one’s free…”