Have a peasant evening…


I guess it’s just assumed that peasants, folk dancers and card-reading gypsies need aprons.

It must be a long day when you have to entertain a crowd, divine the future, then cook and clean after you’ve sewn an entire deck of cards onto your skirt.



Umm… what?

If this pattern included a belt and a pair of tights, Goldie Hawn could have worn this on the set of Laugh-In.

Uh oh, I found the day-wear version of this pattern.

Pillow Talk

Yet ANOTHER pajama bag pattern.

Let’s see what they’re thinking.

Girl PJ bag: “Molly is the sweetest little girl, but if she stuffs her pee-stained jammies in me one more time, I’m going to smother her in her sleep”

Boy PJ bag: “I hope this blue gingham rash clears up soon…”

Blue dog PJ bag: “I just hope they keep blaming the real dog for that funny smell.”

Yellow cat PJ bag, to the polka dotted dog PJ bag: “Are my eyes closed or am I Asian? Dammit I can’t tell”

Polka dotted dog PJ bag to the Yellow cat PJ bag: “How the hell should I know? I’m in the same situation and I think I have measles!”

White cat PJ bag: “I WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL!!!!”

Pants of, dance off!

Who knew wrap-and-go pantskirts were all the rage at pattern companies?

To me, they always seemed like a pain to put on; but hey, just think of how easily they come off!


You don’t often see them in design now-a-days, but there is something about them that makes me think of super cool pool parties, with the hostess walking around with hor d’oeuvre trays, pretty people around the pool in swimsuits that never touch water, that neighbor you don’t like – hitting on a girl half his age… ahhh, sweet memories of parties I was never invited to.

Too easy

I wonder what she’s thinking…

“Yeah, that’s right losers. You know you don’t look half as good as I do. I see you over there in your off-the-rack work clothes you have to wear in the steno pool. You’re looking at me thinking ‘how does she manage to look that awesome every day?’ Two words bitches: Easy. Blazers.”

Here, have a slice!

In the garden with APRONS!

Let’s see. What do we have here?

Handy Manny and his son, two little ARTISTS with aprons being attacked by colorful amoebas and…

Just plant an apron with a watermelon pocket on my grave and let the juice <slupr slurp> run through!

What is craftdom’s obsession with watermelons? I hate watermelons; frankly, they make me gag. I had too many of them growing up I guess.

It’s hard to imagine that watermelons are the only things on the planet that can be cut into a semi-circular shape.

Maybe sewers could switch to slices of cantaloupe. I hate cantaloupe too, but that’s beside the point.

ORANGES! I love oranges… and lemons, limes… see there are three new patterns based on fruit that can be cut into a semi-circle!

Actually, what’s wrong with other fruit pockets? Cherries, grapes or strawberries… yeah, strawberries. That’s a good idea! I could make a pattern that had a strawberry pocket AND a watermelon pocket.

That way the crafting masses will go for the watermelon slice, but I’d still make money on the strawberry!

Brilliant! I’ll make millions!!!