Here comes the slut…

Mindy had something to think about…

“Hmmm… should I really wear white for my wedding? I mean there was that one time with Ted, but it was a harmless flirtation…we only did it like once. That doesn’t count… right? Oh wow, what a night that was… I think we broke the bed. Hmm…probably shouldn’t have invited him to the wedding… yeah, I better split the difference and wear ecru…”

Party time… excellent?

Umm, if these are the decorations you plan on making for the party, I’d just as soon as cancel it and stay at home and eat a TV dinner in front of reruns of Mamma’s Family… by myself… alone… like every other night… in the dark… talking to myself… thinking about the party you could have ruined with those hideous decorations made of yarn…

The “happy” couple?

Is it wrong to want the frog overalls in my size? Probably…

Little boy on right: “Well, guys here she is; my little lady! I couldn’t be happier. We’ve been together for three years now and our relationship still feels fresh, like the first day we met.”

Little girl on left: “Mike, are you high? We are not together now, nor will we ever be together. We just happen to be next door neighbors. Besides, you know I’m into girls. Now, get your arm off of me before I kick your scrawny ass… YET AGAIN.”

Plaid-tastrophe!

OK, this one breaks my heart.

Pauline Trigére was considered one of the united States own couturiers. She was known for luxurious fabrics and always making clothes that made a woman look strong and feminine at the same time. What she’s doing making a giant tent with arm holes, for Simplicity, is beyond me.

I love plaid, but seriously, who though that was the ideal fabric for a sample? No one could get away with those giant checks running across her body like scaffolding on the Empire state building.

Oh yes it’s ladies night!

Guy on right: “Guys, I promise you that we are going to be the hottest men in this club tonight. We can’t go wrong with these coordinated separates.”

Guy in middle: “I don’t know Tom; I don’t see anyone else dressed like us.”

Guy on right: “That’s the point Don! We’ll stand out and all the ladies will want to be with us tonight!”

Guy on left: “OK. But I think you should lose the cow print ascot Tom. With the Magnum P.I. moustache, it makes you look a little gay.”

Guy on right: “Screw you Jeff. You’re just jealous because you don’t know how to accessorize a macho outfit like this!”

I’ll cut ya!

Wow, could they have gotten more evil looking dolls?

“Oh John, look at our adorable child. He is absolutely perfect.”

“I agree Jennifer. He’ll make the perfect blood sacrifice for the dark ritual. I’ll go prepare the altar.”

“Don’t forget the ceremonial dagger this time. I refuse to use Aunt Myrtle’s turkey carving knife again.”

Good for tourism…

To be read in a heavy Russian accent…

Lady on left: “Look Sasha. That is strong American man I am to marry. He and I will have lots of strong children with strong Russian blood.”

Lady on right: “I see him Inara. He is standing next to American man I am going to be marrying. He is smart like scientist.  Our many children will rule the world.”

Lady on left: “Simplicity pattern company was right Sasha. Dress like peasant girl and so many American men will want to be husband, you have will to beat them off with stick.”

Lady on right: “Don’t be fool Inara. We are Russian! We don’t use stick, we use bare hands.”

 (For Sasha)