How does Simplicity do it? It must take a ton of effort to make the exact same pattern over and over again and not realize it. I’ll never understand how those brave, brave patternmakers endure such death-defying hardships like this.
Oh, and way to go on putting your thumb firmly up the butt of pop culture guys. Elvis and Cher? What, did you lazy bastards not want to spell out THE CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE or ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK?
Here are some other popular musical personalities I suggest that the good people at Simplicity might want to consider spelling on the sleeve of the next incarnation of this pattern, ‘cause you know there will be one:
W E I R D A L Y A N K O V I C
J Ó N “J Ó N S I” Þ Ó R B I R G I S S O N
M A R S H A W A T T A N A P A N I C H
Α P Y U Y U P η ς Ν A σ T O π O U λ O ς
I don’t think “THE FASHION ONE” is the proper tag line for Butterick patterns.
Maybe something along the lines of “THE WASTE THE BETTER HALF OF A MONTH PATCHWORKING AND QUILTING A HIDEOUS SKIRT AND MATCHING BAG THAT ARE SO FREAKING UGLY, NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WILL WANT TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH YOU ONE”
Mother’s helper? Funny, this doesn’t look like a bottle of Valium.
The only thing it’s helping me do is avoid “Yours Truly” patterns. Apparently, the bear legs are pockets so a mother can store things in them, like a breast milk pump or dirty diapers.
It’s a good thing this pattern exists, because, as we ALL know, new mothers have so much free time on their hands after a baby is born that they will probably need something to do. Moms can sew this up while lounging on the patio and sipping champagne as the pool boy fans them with a palm leaf.
See, that helps!
I love the fact that they are lighting up while discussing their plans…
Guy B (in blue shorts): “So, what do you think of our friend back there in the striped shirt?”
Guy A (in Red shirt): “I’m not sure. This is kind of a touchy subject. Do you think he would be receptive to the idea?”
Guy B (in blue shorts): “It’s hard to tell. Not every guy out there is into three-ways.”
Hmm… let’s see. Larger sized cardigans – OK, a special collection of men’s sweaters – alright, dresses to knit and crochet – well, that seems fine. What could possibly land this knitting magazine on this websi… OH MY GOD! IS THE MODEL ON THE LEFT EVEN HUMAN?
Holy cow! She has the neck of a Maasai warrior and the face of a window display mannequin. And what the Hell is on their shirts? They look like they are being attacked by Technicolor yarn parasites. RUN!! The pom-pom brain slugs have already begun to feed on their hair!!!
Hmmm… now where have I see that hat before?
Gosh it looks familiar…
Like, it’s famous or something… hmmm…
Oh well, I’ll figure it out one day…
Yes! Finally! Now EVERYONE can have a double breasted, artist’s smock with a belt and notched lapel! Because nothing, I mean NOTHING, says “create with reckless abandon” like a tailored coat in wool tweed! And, because men and women have EXACTLY the same body types, I know this pattern will fit anyone! Thank you McCall’s patterns; you TOTALLY understand the creative process!