Costume Fail

This is a repeat of a post on my other blog, but the snark still stands.

Geez… The California Raisins! If ever there was a grim reminder of what a fifth of Everclear and an associates degree in theatrical patternmaking can accomplish together, you’ve got it! Actually, they look like big, purple, deflated footballs, but let’s not split hairs. And, just in case you though this was the ultimate uni-tasker pattern; fear not, you can also share your love of 80’s kitsch by dressing up as a couch potato. Or are they supposed to be football-watching chips ahoy?

“No Johnny, it’s perfectly acceptable to wear a white sheet with a matching hood for Halloween. Besides it’s a time saver QUICKIE, that’s how I was able to make all your friends matching ones. Won’t you all look amazing marching down the street together when you go to your friend Jamal’s Halloween party?!”

Wow, even I didn’t see this one coming. So, let me get this straight, you can be a lumpy, visor wearing lemon; a smug, newly hatched chick; Junior Samples or a left testicle with one hair growing out of a red bump, in one of three flesh tones. Gosh-a-mighty, how will I choose?

You too can dress up as a Gumby-headed, Yoda eared, nappy fur ball with 2 lazy eyes and a saggy ponch. Box with fake air holes sold separately.

Batman? NO!  Power Ranger? NO! The Incredible Hulk? HELL NO! For Halloween this year I want to be a gay physician’s assistant with matching scrunchie please! Nothing says I’m experiencing the carefree abandon of my childhood like a nurse’s costume with sensible shoes! You other kids can play with your Pokemon and Hot Wheels, I have a date with a copy of Infectious Diseases of the Lower Abdomen: Vol. 3!

OK. Technically this is not a Halloween costume. It is an instruction booklet for knitting a child’s vest and sweater. But, since the guy in the middle is in costume, I figured it was good to go. I still have a few questions about this image: Why is Vincent Price dressed up as a rabbit who works at Wendy’s? Why is Rosanne Barr’s mini-me so happy? Where is the little boy’s left hand? Where are the parents? What flavor are the cupcakes? The world may never know… My friend Kevin added “Creepy rabbit, Trix are for kids” Thanks Kev!

G 🙂


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