Don’t lose your head!


Oh Enid Gilchrist!
If there is anyone I can trust to dress kids for the beheading of a court jester, it’s you!

He’s so joyfully ready to swing his scimitar, and she’s reveling in ignorant bliss, unaware that the executioner’s blade is poised for the strike.


Not in your vest interest…


More like Bloomin’ Idiot!

OK, we get it, you like an obscure quilting technique; but honestly,
who thought this was flattering?
That sample looks like an old packing blanket had an accident in the garbage disposal.

And let’s talk comfort for a second. I mean, quilting is warm enough; I can’t even imagine what six layers of densely woven fabric would be like to wear over a blouse and foundation garment.
Maybe they should have called this the Bloomin’ Hot Flash.

Everybody jump, jump


In all fairness to the models,
it can’t be easy making two of the world’s ugliest jumpsuits look sexy.

I mean, they could have gone with a simple black crepe, or a clean beige color, but no, someone with a vision greater than mine said,
“Let’s crank out the samples in martini olive and baby-shit green please!”

Currently, the scoreboard reads: Burda – 1,  Sewing public – 0

Beachwear for funerals



This post originally appeared on June 26, 2013

I get that you’ll need a beach cover-up while out and about by the shore, but for some reason, the good people at Vogue suggest that you forgo the usual T-shirt & flip-flops, and dress up like a goth Holly Hobbie in mourning.

Here kitty… you know what, never mind…


Gah! What other-worldly demon possessed that cat on the aquarium?
Those eyes!
I’m just waiting for its head to spin around and pea soup to spew from it’s mouth!

Being a cat, the pea soup will, of course, always hit the carpet
and not the easily cleaned hardwoods, so just get the Woolite ready.