She said yes


At an unexpected engagement party, some concerns were aired…

Lady on right: “Wait, you don’t actually think that Suzy is going to marry Bruce, do you? I mean, I know the guy is loaded, but OMG he’s a total asshole.”

Lady on left: “Well, Suzy is a bit of a bitch herself, so really, it’s a match made in Heaven. I mean honestly, between his bank account and her insane spending habits, I’m surprised they didn’t tie the knot ages ago.”

Lady on right: “But still, it’s not much to build a relationship on.”

Lady on left: “Honey, look at it this way, it takes both of those dumbasses off the market and leaves the actual human beings to the rest of us.”

Just pee-cause

I’d like to apologize for the lack of Sad patterns this past week and a half. I was on a whirlwind tour and couldn’t get to a computer to post stuff. I’m back on my M-W-F schedule now, and will continue to shovel mounds of terrible crafting patterns down your throats.

Now, without further ado…


Yes, that’s EXACTLY what we want –
an applique pattern that looks like a guy in overalls, taking a leek.


Happy families


While on a nice outing to the city…

Mom: “Sweetie, don’t eat so much! You’ll spoil your supper.”

Kid: “Shut it, lady. I’ll eat what I want, when I want!”

Dad: “Don’t talk to your mother like that, you little shit, and gimmie back my Cracker Jacks!”

Kid: “You can pry ’em out of my cold, dead hands, old man.”

Dad: “Kid, you’re about 5 seconds away from being a murder statistic.”

Kid: “You old gas bag, you’re about as intimidating as a wet sponge!”

Mom: “I regret the choices I’ve made in life.”