House work


Because that’s what every woman needs to wear when she’s making dinner and cleaning the house, a freaking corset.

And yes, the lady in the jester apron is smoking a cigarette. I guess she needs to take the edge off of life when wearing an elf’s collar around her waist.

Bigger is better


Guy on left: “It’s OK, Brian. You shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Hell, if anything, you should be proud of its size!”

Guy on right: “Yeah, man. If I had one that big, I’d be telling everyone about it. It’s a blessing and you should own it like the boss you are!”

Guy in middle: “Aww come on guys! It’s not that big. I mean, sure a lot of people have enjoyed it, and I’ve never had a complaint, but honestly, it just feels weird to have an Olympic-sized pool in the backyard.”

Guy on left: “Your pool? Oh, is that what we’re talking about?”

Guy on right: “Goddammit, Dave. Could you not be a pervert for like five minutes?”


Kids at play


Boy 1: “No Suzy, You use the blocks like this. One is for standing on and the other goes on your head. See.”

Girl 1: “OK OK, But I wanna try next. You’ve been playing with them all day!! I wanna be a block sandwich for a little while!!”

Boy 2: “What on Earth…”

Girl 2: “Ignore them, Henry. I have a feeling those two have been dipping in the Kool-Aid packets again.

Down under


Australian Critters?
I think you mean “Continent-specific animals that are more than likely thinking of ways to end your life.” Because everything in ‘Straya with four legs and/or feathers is either trying to kill you or currently reveling in your demise.

Also, no red-back spider; no sale!