Attention getter


Guy in upper left: “Dang, Brian, did you see that hot guy in the tight pants, just now?””

Guy in plaid shirt: “Sue did! I wouldn’t mind waking up to THOSE perky cheeks, every morning.”

Guy in white shirt: “O.M.G. I gotta take off my shades to appreciate an ass like that!”

Guy in khaki shirt: “Look, Bobby! If you insist on chasing after every tight set of buns that jog past us, you and I are through!”

Guy in gingham shirt: “Oh would you chill out? I can’t help it if I appreciate the finer things in life. Besides, when a guy that fine, wears pants that fitted, he’s just begging to be stared at!”

Here a quack, there a quack



This post originally appeared on October 11, 2011


“Once you enter the Enchanted Forest, little girl, your appearance will change and you will take on the look of a young Princess Diana going to a business meeting in the 80’s. You will gain the ability to play the clarinet, and ducks will obey your every command.”

Cluck you


That’s exactly what my kitchen needs – a psycho-eyed chicken pocket to hold a few slotted spoons and a couple of coupons. You know, my kitchen utensil and coupon collections were getting totally out of control and are in desperate need of wrangling. Bless you, Patch Press, you read my mind and fulfilled my organizing chicken dreams.