SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:
This post originally appeared on May 26, 2011
I have a few questions about this image: Why is Vincent Price dressed up as a rabbit who works at Wendy’s? Why is Rosanne Barr’s mini-me so happy? Where is the little boy’s left hand? Where are the parents? What flavor are the cupcakes?
The world may never know…
I see that three of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are doing well in their studies.
Famine was caught spreading blight over the tuna casserole in the cafeteria and was in detention when this picture was taken.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do respect Perry Ellis for defining the look of American Sportswear in the 80′s, but bishop sleeves, even short ones, are dicey proposals at best. Add in a tuxedo bib and slouchy turtle neck and you get an outfit that looks like it’s casual day in a Renaissance court.
Honey, when a puppet talks, there had better be a hand up its rear; otherwise, that thing is possessed and people won’t stop to listen, they’ll be running for the door.
This outfit is the jumpsuit equivalent of sweat pants.
If you’re walking out of the house in this look, you’re pretty much giving up on what you look like and are headed to the store to get more cans of frosting to eat for dinner.
SAD PATTERNS PRESENTS:
This post originally appeared on January 23, 2012
There are several model poses that have been used throughout the years to show off a garment’s best attributes; however, the “raise your leg and air out your crotch under a giant burlap skirt” pose never really took off.
S’up with the chick in the red’s face?
Lady on left: “Hmmm, it says here that she’s supposed to be in Biology 102 right now.”
Lady on right: “Awww, too bad she’s going to miss that lecture. I hear it’s important for the mid-term too.”
Lady in back: “Umm, guys… could I please have my date book back? I need to get to class and I don’t want to miss any…”
Lady on left: “Oh no sweetie, we’re going to hang on to this for a little while. If you want it back, you’ll need to get busy polishing all our shoes.”
Lady in back: “B-b-but… class…”
Lady on right: “Awww, is the widdle baby gonna kwy? Well, cry all you want kitten, but you’d better be doing it with a can of Kiwi in your hand!”